Yesterday was the first day I ventured out without my wig on. Just over a month ago I would never have thought I would be hitting the hardware store without any hair!! I sat in the carpark of my local hardware store for quite some time before I could step out of my car with only a scarf covering my bald head… its funny the things we take for granted until they are gone.
I felt very self-conscious, I left my sunglasses on and was desperately hoping I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew. The thing about any kind of disease which causes you to lose your hair is you feel naked without it. It’s like rocking up to the shops butt naked and expecting people not to stare or wonder what the hell is going on in your life.
I have always taken great pride in getting good haircuts, having nice colours put on my hair and I never leave the house without make up on and my hair done but why is it that now that all my hair is gone I feel ashamed and embarrassed? It’s not my fault this has happened, I haven’t done anything wrong! There are plenty of people at my local shops who look like they’ve been dragged through a bush backwards and don’t even bother brushing their hair before they go out – but maybe that’s only in my non-affluent neighbourhood 🙂
I was lucky today because there were only four women in the garden section of the hardware store and all four women treated me as if I had Julia Roberts kind of hair – not like someone who appears to have cancer and has lost all her hair from the chemotherapy.
So as I walked about selecting new vegetable plants for my garden I heard this quote from The Help in my head… “you is kind, you is smart, you is important” and guess what – it really wasn’t that awful being out there in the big bad world without any hair because it doesn’t change who I am.