for better or for worst… yeah, nah!

Today would have been my 25th wedding anniversary… I had the perfect day, we were married in a beautiful old church in Unley, my husband sang a song that he’d written for me, we had a gorgeous reception at Fernilee Lodge in Burnside (which has since been smashed down, ironic much?) and a honeymoon in the USA. What a start to married life!!

I always wanted to marry young so I could have my kids young and we did just that. My little baby girl was born when I was 21 and my bloody massive son was born when I was 23, they were and always will be the most important creatures in my life.

Our marriage probably appeared to be a good one but to be honest we never really connected in the way that I thought we would. We didn’t share many interests, we had nothing really to talk about, we virtually never fought, we weren’t very affectionate with each other and all in all it wasn’t really what I was expecting but I had nothing to compare it to so I just got on with life.

Almost 18 years after the wedding day my husband told me he’d had an affair. We were sitting down at Moana beach and it is a day I will never forget. I remember walking away from him and feeling like I was going to vomit. I kept this information to myself for the next 5 months because I couldn’t physically verbalise what was going on and because Christmas was just around the corner as was my beautiful father-in-laws 90th birthday which I was not going to miss. It took me 7 months to get my shit together (mentally and emotionally) and then I left my ex-husband who to this day still has not had the correct response to breaking my heart.

Will I ever marry again? Not a chance in hell!! Do I hope to find true love? Abso-bloody-lutely!! Am I sad the marriage failed and that I didn’t get to be one of those old geezas who grows old with the father of her children? Yes for my kids sake I am sad, for my sake, not so much. I have fallen madly deeply in love since leaving my ex-husband but that turned out to be a complete disaster however I’m still glad I have experienced what it means to really love someone.

To quote Edmond from one of my favourite movies… life is a storm my friend, you will bask in the sunlight one moment and be shattered on the rocks the next, what makes you a man (or in my case a woman with a fucking bald head) is what you do when that storm comes! xx

7 thoughts on “for better or for worst… yeah, nah!

  1. June Murray

    Well said my little een.lots of worthwhile things have came out of that marriage.
    You have learned heaps you’ve matured a lot and having the prize of two gorgeous kids that would die for you in a minute they love you heaps as you know.
    Youve two wacky parents that would do the same,and love you heaps.Carry on doing what you love doing and studying what you enjoy.
    And be prepared for things to change,none of us know what’s around the corner.
    Enjoy the moment and enjoy the unexpected. Love you so so much little een.❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cheyenne Von-Zieden

    As a kid i always wondered what it would be like to marry a robot. Infidelity is normally a crime of passion. Honestly didn’t think he had it in him. You were always the sunshine and he was always the dark clouds on the horizon. I am happy that learned and grew through the experience. Trauma is always the best teacher. You have always been a little crazy and i have always loved that about you. xx


    1. I agree, trauma can be a great teacher, if we allow it. I wasn’t aware that you noticed my crazy side but I am pleased to hear you did… I’ll take that as a compliment. 🙂 I hope you’re well and enjoying life over there. Much love. Suez xx


      1. Cheyenne Von-Zieden

        I’ve always noticed your crazy side. You should take it as a compliment. Why be like everyone else when you can be exceptional. I’ve been well and life is good. Much love right back at you. Cheyenne xx

        Liked by 1 person

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